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GETTING GHOSTED AND WHY IT SUCKS

My title may seem like a DUH! to a lot of you but I know that a lot of people are currently googling "I got ghosted, now what?" I know this, because this was me at 4AM this morning after I realized I got ghosted, AGAIN!

Ghosting sucks. According to urban dictionary, ghosting means, "When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public."

Warning to you all, I get attached so quickly. I fall head over heels. It is a miracle when a guy makes it past 2 weeks. I tried to approach this relationship with a little more ease, but I must have failed as I got ghosted day 4. 

I met David Flores on POF. He is a 29 year old truck drive from La Puente. Extremely attractive and fun to be around with. After a day's convo on POF, we decided to plan our first date. Dinner and drinks at a local club. We decided to pre drink at my house. When he got there, he had a huge cold sore on his lips. The first thing he did was apologize for the cold sore and kept repeating how self conscious he felt about the cold sore. Well, we never left my house. He "felt" too self conscious about the cold sore. FELT WITH SARCASM. 

Luckily for David, I let him sleep over. 

The next morning, David and I went to breakfast and spent the day at the mall and then dinner. 

So, here is where I thought this guy may be serious. He stayed for breakfast, we went to the mall, and had dinner. Sorry for being repetitive, but is your life that boring that you don't care who you 'waste' your time with? I can only imagine this being a primary quality of a serial ghoster. 

Our time together was nice. He was caring and affectionate. My hand never left his. He would have me walk on the inner side of the sidewalk. He would randomly kiss my shoulder, hand, and cheek. (not the lips, cold sore) He said our time together felt nice and hoped to see more of me. We talked about going to Cancun for a weekend, Vegas for another, Peru for the summer. During our shopping spree, he even showed me a onesie for our kid (rolled my eyes here but inside I was jumping). 

Honestly though, why bother ghoster? Why even say and do all those nice things if eventually you would disappear. Maybe David did see a future with me. Maybe on this day, during these moments, he thought we would be more than friends. 

After dinner, we went to my place and watched Netflix. David spent the night again. 

The next morning, I got ready for church and David got ready for work. HE (he did, not me) made plans for dinner that night after he finished work. Dinner was great. I must admit, David was less affectionate at dinner. hints not taken. 

When he dropped me off, he said he would see me again Tuesday after work. Monday was going to be a busy day for him but that he would text me at his stops and call me when he got home. 

Before David and I physically met, we texted for a week. During this week, I got a good morning text every morning. On Monday, no good morning text. odd. I brushed it off as David said he was going to be busy. 2 PM rolled by and I decided to text David and send him some words of encouragement. No response. At 8PM, I uploaded a picture on snapchat, David saw it. When I saw that David saw my snapchat, I knew right then and there that what we had was gone. I am a master of knowing when you are getting ghosted and I was being ghosted. 

I went to bed feeling so shitty. Upset that I had let another man enter my life and fucking ghost me. I'll continue my rant later but I want to finish the story. 

I went to bed at 8PM this night. At 4AM, I decided to check POF. The site I met him on and literally check and see if he was online. Guess who was online? David fucking Flores. That was it. I had to message him and so I did. I blocked him on POF and did not screenshot my beautiful choice of words but I told him that he could have been honest and upfront followed by Luke 17:3-4. I forgive him for I could have done better. 

Well my girls. Sorry for my long story. I only wish that men and women can just say it, this is not going to work instead of ghosting. It is a terrible feeling not knowing what you did wrong and where it all went wrong. It is terrible to let someone believe that there is a future together. 

I celebrate every heartbreak with my own break. Just booked my flight to Cancun. Self Care is important. 

Love and Sisterhood,
Jesseningles

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